I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
