Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
