considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
