why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Someone came in the potted fern
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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