Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
