And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
