he wants to bone in the snuggie
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
