So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Let's paint friendship bongs
I think I sprained my soul last night
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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