At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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