I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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