is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
