Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
