Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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