I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
