I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
