Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
