I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
