i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
