Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
