: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
