White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
