How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
