Dual....:-)
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
