We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Randomize
