I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
i've created a new STD.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
