quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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