apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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