Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
