Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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