yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
