I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
