Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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