are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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