wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Welp...herpes.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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