I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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