I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
