Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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