I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
