I wish I could teleport
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
