I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
