i just wanna soil my oats bro
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
