You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I supernannyed him into submission
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
