How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I FOUND THE LEGS
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
