There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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