The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
