I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
