i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
