this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
