oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
