1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize
