It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
