So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Do vagina's smell?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I can't turn off my feet"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
