there were more penises there than on chat roulette
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
